Pretty New Dress.

Today was good.
I got a new dress and I-pod head phones.
Gizem and her parents came over. It’s the last time I will have seen them for a long time and I will miss them. I also called my Grandma to see how she’s doing and I was fucking pissed to learn she had a possible stroke and my dad didn’t tell me. When I called he gave me some Hoobla excuse and I was over it, he never tells me much anyway.

I’m leaving Turkey soon, it’s sort of bitter sweet. I miss America, my friends, my family, real life… but at the same time I don’t miss America, its disgusting food, fast life, my family, and real life. I’m ready for another try and to do things rite but I like things here! It’s like I’m on permanent vacation from life. And I like it. I like being skinnier and irresistible, and clubbing and having fun and being happy but I have to fix things, I have to fix my life. I have to stop it from falling or it will continue to crash around me, I’m tired of being of dealing with myself. I don’t want to go back to drowning in my own tears caused by myself and my actions and my life.